At some point in your life, you will encounter a situation that is one for the books. Perhaps even so crazy it’s unbelievable. Especially when you manage to live to tell about it.
My story starts at 11:00 PM, Thursday night, when my friend, Jake and I decided that we’d break out of Downtown Los Angeles and travel into the deliciously bizarre world that is Hollywood and Vine.
When you’ve had enough of frat row and five dollar parties, you get put in an interesting position: get a fake id or go to a gay club. We went for the gay club.
We grab our phones and order an Uber.
11:11 – Jake and I are greeted by *Tom.
Uber Tom is blasting his favorite iHeartRadio station, “Evolution.” Dressed in a basic blue tee and khaki shorts, he’s rocking a fully shaven bald and asks us where we’re going:
“Tiger Heat.” We both answer.
Located in the historic, Avalon nightclub in Hollywood, Tiger heat is a collection of sweaty go-go dancers, crowded by young teens and the occasional menacing old man. It’s hot. There’s a fog machine and for only $12.00, you can listen to pop hits, find your Tinder date, watch music videos, dance to a flashing light show and get humped by straight men.
Needless to say……..
But what if I said this mind-boggling experience gets a bit crazier?
11:20 – Things began to take a turn.
Trying to keep things casual, the two of us strike up a conversation with Tom. We talk music festivals and his love of rave music. He claims that he goes to Avalon on Fridays and Saturdays AND that he’d be down to party with us that night.
11:25 – At this point, I’m laughing hysterically. Jake and I agree, thinking that he’s kidding. I mean, what uber driver would party with two of his riders?
Jake mentions that Tom can create his own hours, which should be incentive as to why he should party with us. That’s cool, We’re down.
11:39 – But then it happens. He pulls into a dark 7-11 parking lot and turns towards us – I wonder if this is the moment I’m going to die. Completely serious and straight faced, he mutters the words: “I’m coming with you guys.” Pause. No one is breathing for sure now. Then Uber Tom gets out, “You want some RedBulls? Be right back.”
11:40 – At this point, I don’t know whether to flip out or not. Jake grabs ahold of me, his eyes going wide. We had just convinced our Uber driver, in a dark parking lot. to come clubbing with us.
Panic is running through my entire body, because I know that my mother would not approve of this. I look to my left, there are cops just outside my window. Is it too late to ask for help? Should I have asked for help? Maybe it was crazy, but for the few minutes that we were left alone in that car, Jake and I pondered the pros and cons of partying with our Uber driver:
We could get an automatic ride home and maybe he wouldn’t be a creepy guy. Think about it, unfortunately Uber drivers get a bad rep, maybe I had settled on a goldmine: finding a non-creepy Uber driver in Los Angeles that’s down to party with me. Hey – that isn’t too bad, is it?
12:00 – After chugging down our RedBulls, we’re in line at the club with Tom. There’s no way he’s going to stay. Carly Rae Jepsen is doing a performance – Jake and I agree that Tom isn’t going to be into it at all. So if he is a creep, we’re good. He’ll ditch and we’ll be fine.
This is when things take yet another detour.
While Jake and I pushed to the front for Carly Rae, Tom hung out in the back, making friends of his own. I actually felt proud. It was like we had raised our own social butterfly. Tom was in our crew. He was now one of us. We were cool again.
1:00 – Carly Rae Jepsen comes on stage and doesn’t even sing, “Call Me Maybe.”
Sidenote: I don’t think Tom knew who she was, nor did he care about her performance, because we ended up losing him.
1:30 – I feel a tap on my shoulder. I see Tom, I’m slightly creeped out that he’s managed to find me in a sea of people but I decide to hang with him.
1:45 – Jake almost gets kicked out of the club and hey, the crew is reunited.
2:00 – Our night at the club is coming to an end, thankfully. We’ve lost Tom again, but being the social butterfly we’ve raised him to be, we knew he was out on the dance floor, making friends and tearing it up with his retro club dance moves. And we are alive.
We may never seen Tom again. In fact, the chances are pretty slim, but I will never forget the time I partied with my Uber driver. Pics or it didn’t happen? Well, we didn’t get a chance to photograph him, but I swear, this happened. And I live to tell the tale.
*All names have been changed for the purpose of this story.